How much is well-being tied to your bank account?
I often get questions centered around the topic of money. People want to know when they are going to win the lottery, or strike it rich. To feel financially secure is certainly an understandable desire. I’ve never had one person tell me that they wouldn’t like more money.
The interesting thing is that indeed there is a connection between your bank account and your sense of well-being. Interestingly enough, it’s not in that order.
When it comes to money I’ve heard people brag and complain. I’ve heard stories of lack as well as stories of riches. I’ve seen people go from broke to millionaire status and back again, but the one thing that seems to always be a constant is that their bank account quite accurately always reflects how that individual is feeling about themselves at each of these points.
To understand why well-being and money are so connected we must first understand what well-being and money are. Well-being is energy and so is money. That’s it. It’s not any more complicated, so let's not over-think this statement and make it more difficult for ourselves.
The great part about money is that it’s accessible energy and very available. The same as well-being. Now, this might be a bit tough to swallow if you are presently feeling not so prosperous or healthy right now, but I assure you, there is a reason you’re not feeling this way and it’s not money’s fault.
If you talk to financially successful people they will discuss their relationship with money a lot differently than someone who struggles with it. They have an understanding that money is simply a form of energy and if understood, respected and appreciated will generously show up in their life. Many wealthy people work very hard, but do things that they love. I know many successful entrepreneurs and business folks who adore the work they do and are compensated accordingly. Rarely do I meet extremely wealthy people who dislike what they’re up to in the world. These people as a whole (and mind you, this is not all- but most) tend to have a general excitement about life. They enjoy their life and know how to savor it. They tend to be more healthy, fit, energetically balanced and well. Rarely do I encounter nasty, miserable, or unhealthy self-made wealthy individuals.
An individual who struggles with money is not just struggling with money. I have a favorite saying that I use often during coaching sessions ‘When one area of our life is affected, all areas eventually become infected.' This seems to be quite so, unless something is done to change how we relate to negativity, negativity perpetuates, spreads like a disease. It seems natural when we're feeling down to want to blame our problems and issues on a lack of money, but if we really are willing to get radically honest with ourselves it quickly becomes clear that our lack of funds are a byproduct of negativity, not money’s fault.
A couple years ago I had a client come into my office and sit down in the chair across from me. With just one look I knew that she felt as though her life was falling apart. At the rate things were going in her life, it absolutely was. This lady in her mid 40’s believed that everyone was out to get her. She held the belief that no matter how hard she worked she would never get ahead. Her physical health had not been well and anxiety was running her life. She had given her personal power away to issues, problems, worries and people who didn’t respect and care about her. She looked at me sadly and said, “I feel like I don’t have anything left.” I looked at her and said ‘Good. That’s where we're gonna start.’
Working with people who have lost the things that are most dear to them is easier than working with someone trying to hold on to the little bit they have left. Sometimes in life we need to revamp how we deal with our life and simply start over. Attempting to hold on or trying to keep things the way they once were keeps us struggling.
To make more money sometimes we have to get rid of the ways we know to make money. <--- Read this sentence again, slowly.
When we were young we were learning about what money was. We were learning about our status in school and whether we were poor, middle-class, or wealthy. We ingested subconscious information about money and learned from our parents or guardians about what money was about. The chances of us duplicating and replaying these subconscious blueprints stored in our psyche is very high.
If you are someone who has suffered, struggled and have been challenged with money issues, most likely you are among those who can't seem to figure out why. It's due to your not being taught at an early age what money is.
For people who have struggled with money and success I often suggest that they go out and have a sultry, hot, intimate dalliance of a relationship with money… I’m talking about learning how to date money, not relying on money to date you… If you want to know more about this, talk to me. I love talking about money, small business and success.
So, back to my client…
As she sat before me it didn’t take long for me to see that this woman didn’t have money issues at all. Even though she came to see me about her money problems it was not her money problems that brought her in. This lady had challenges in other areas of her life which eventually resulted in her inability to make the kind of money she deserved. She was educated and smart but felt like garbabe about herself. She had been through the wringer and survived. When I looked past her sob story, I saw the awesome and inspired woman she was (and for whatever reason) unable to access on her own… I help people see themselves happy, successful, thriving and well. After few moments of me telling her who I saw beyond all the stuff she had been holding on to through all her years she broke to her core and sobbed like someone who had just lost their child. She wept on my desk. It was painful for her to know that she had not been living her full potential… I looked at her and stared with a stone cold expression. I didn't hug or comfort her in any way. That was not what she needed. She needed to confront herself. After her tears and feeling sorry for herself subsided I asked her if she was ready to start living.
The fact is, this woman didn’t have money issues at all. Just like anyone else struggling with money issues… It’s never money’s fault.
Once the lightbulb went on in this lady’s head and she realized that she needed to stop joining her own pity party she shifted right before my eyes. She turned from uninspired to uplifted and left my office ready to take life by the horns. That’s exactly what she did! Today she runs a successful business doing what she loves.
The money situation didn’t immediately shift for her, but what did shift was how she felt about herself and realized that her relationship with money was directly tied into that sense of inferiority she felt before she met me. Within a week of our meeting she was already on course to living a better life. She called me during the early stages of her rehab with money to tell me about the significant improvements as they occurred. It was exciting for her to finally release the burden of feeling "less than" that she was programmed with in her childhood years.
See, money is simply energy. We align with the amount of money that we inherently believe that we deserve. If we are abundant, there’s good reason. If we are struggling, there’s also good reason.
If you want to attain more wealth and understand more about what I've shared above, contact me. In addition to personal success coaching I love working with small business owners who know that their business could be making more money.
I have to warn you though, our time together will be far less about the topic of money and far more about the topic of YOU.
If you are brave, bold, and ready, so am I... Let's do this.
I wanted to share this wonderful breathing exercise with you because it has helped me and many of my clients achieve great peace and mental clarity. This is a powerful technique that can be used throughout your day, anytime you feel you need it.
Sit or lay down in a comfortable open body position, arms and legs comfortable, unfolded and uncrossed.
Inhale as slowly as possible through the nose. The goal is to sustain each inhalation for 30 seconds. You can achieve this by learning to only focus on the breath. Visualize bringing the breath in and all the way to the tips of your toes. This sometimes takes a bit of practice.
Exhale slowly, deliberately, focusing on brining the breath up from the tips of the toes, direct the breath through each part of the body. Exhale target time is 30 seconds.
Perform both the inhale and exhale for a minimum of 5 repetitions. You may do it longer if you wish. During this exercise be sure to keep focused only on breathing. If your mind wanders gently bring your attention back to your deliberate breath.
How did your body feel before this breathing exercise?
How does your body feel after?
How clear and calm did you feel before this exercise?
How clear and calm do you feel after?
Mastering this exercise means that you can now consciously calm, clear and relax your body and mind, at will. It works very well for individuals who claim to experience anxiety, racing thoughts, or obsessive/compulsive behaviors. In addition, this is an excellent practice for learning how to live in the present moment. This exercise will assist you with training yourself to consciously connect your mind, body, and spirit. The benefits are therapeutic, relaxing and rewarding.
Enjoy, and please share!
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